What No One Taught You About Abuse
Let’s stop softening the truth:
If it scared you, it was abuse.
If it left you walking on eggshells, it was abuse.
If it left bruises — on your body or your spirit — it was abuse.
And no —
“Everyone gets angry sometimes” is not a justification.
“It's just how they show love” is not an excuse.
And “they didn’t mean to” does not make it okay.
Abuse is not a miscommunication.
It’s a repeated violation of your safety, trust, and sense of self.
It is:
– Screaming that shatters your nervous system
– Slaps, grabs, shoves that leave your body flinching for days
– Apologies that come only after the damage is done
– Threats disguised as love
– Silence used as punishment
– Jealousy framed as “just caring”
– Power disguised as protection
– Shame passed off as guidance
Abuse can be:
– Emotional
– Physical
– Sexual
– Verbal
– Psychological
– Energetic
It doesn’t matter what form it took —
If it harmed you, it counts.
And it is not your fault.
Abuse Can Come From Anyone
It’s not just partners.
It can come from:
– A parent
– A sibling
– A friend
– A teacher
– A mentor
– A spiritual figure
– A partner who swore they loved you
But let’s say this plainly:
Love does not make you afraid to exist.
Love does not leave you bruised.
Love does not require your silence to survive.
What About the Soul? Did I Choose This?
But — on a soul level, the picture is different.
The Soul’s Perspective
From the human lens, abuse is horrifying.
From the soul’s lens, it can become a catalyst.
NOT because the abuse was good —
but because what it unlocked in you becomes irreversible.
Some souls come into this life with very difficult roles:
To experience betrayal, abandonment, domination
To feel the weight of distortion, suppression, dehumanization
To transmute centuries of pain through their own system
To break the cycle in their lineage
To embody truth so purely that they become a frequency disruptor
Not because the abuse was fated
But because the soul saw it, and said:
“I can make this mean something.”
Do Souls Agree to Be Abused?
This is where nuance is everything.
Some say yes.
Some say no.
The truth is more layered.
It’s not about agreeing to be hurt.
It’s about choosing a set of conditions that would create certain soul activations.
You may have chosen:
A family line with patterns of silence
A parent who had not yet faced their own trauma
A society that rewards numbness over truth
Free will still exists.
Your abuser could have chosen differently.
You could not “contract” their actions into being.
But your soul may have chosen the environment where those frequencies existed
— because it knew the light it could activate through it.
Not because you “deserved” the pain.
But because you were capable of alchemizing it.
Do Souls Agree to Be Abusers?
This is even harder — and requires serious grounding.
In rare soul-level contracts, polarities are explored:
One soul plays the shadow role
Another the transmuter
They both evolve in very different ways
But again: free will rules.
A soul may have agreed to mirror a distortion,
but it always had the choice to act differently.
Most abusers are not “playing divine roles.”
They’re humans who haven’t broken their own trauma loops —
who are acting from suppression, fear, powerlessness, or inherited distortion.
You can have a soul contract with someone —
and still walk away.
And still hold them accountable.
The Real Power in This
You don’t need to “forgive” right away.
You don’t need to call it a gift.
But if you’re here — reading this —
it means you’ve already started to reclaim your voice.
And that means the field is shifting.
Because when one person transmutes trauma into truth —
generations feel it.
Lineages feel it.
The earth feels it.
As a Child, You Couldn't Escape
This is especially important.
If you were abused as a child:
You were not weak. You were surviving.
You didn’t have the language.
You didn’t have the power.
You didn’t have the option to leave.
You needed them to survive — and they knew that.
You may have:
– Shut down
– Zoned out
– Learned to read the room like your life depended on it
– Became “the good one” to avoid the explosion
– Took care of others just to stay safe
– Learned to disappear
Those were not flaws.
Those were survival instincts.
Your body did what it had to do.
But now?
Now you get to break the contract.
Now you get to stop carrying their wounds as your identity.
As an Adult — You Can Leave
If you’re in it now —
If you’re still being yelled at, shoved, manipulated, degraded —
You are allowed to walk away.
Even if they apologize.
Even if they say they’ll change.
Even if it only happened “a few times.”
Even if no one believes you.
Even if they cry, or say you’re all they have.
Even if you love them.
Abuse is not love.
Control is not care.
Pain is not a price you have to pay to be chosen.
You are not imagining things.
You are not overreacting.
You are waking up.
And yes — it hurts.
But staying will hurt longer.
What Happens When You Leave?
It won’t feel clean. It won’t feel easy.
It might feel like a death.
But then — something happens.
– Your body starts breathing again
– You sleep without flinching
– You look in the mirror and recognize your own eyes
– You start to feel peace in the silence
– You stop apologizing for things that weren’t your fault
You don’t just leave the person.
You leave the version of yourself who tolerated it.
And in that space?
You begin to live.
This Is For You
If no one told you yet:
You didn’t deserve it.
You don’t have to make excuses for them.
You don’t need to stay in touch.
You don’t need to forgive before you're ready.
You don’t need closure.
You don’t owe them your healing.
What you do need is truth.
And the truth is:
– You are not crazy
– You are not too sensitive
– You are not broken
– You are waking up
– You are still here
– You are allowed to leave
– You are allowed to heal
– You are allowed to protect your peace
Even if your voice shakes.
Even if you don’t know what’s next.
Even if all you know is: “I can’t do this anymore.”
That knowing is enough.
That’s the door.
And you have permission to walk through it.
Personal Note
What I Couldn’t Touch Until I Did
Some days felt like years.
Every morning felt like Russian roulette.
One loud footstep, and my chest locked.
One sharp look, and my throat closed.
I never knew who I’d get. I just knew I had to survive them.
That’s what abuse does — especially when it comes from the people who were supposed to love and protect you.
It trains your nervous system to live on edge.
It teaches your body that love means fear.
It buries rage so deep, you start to believe it’s yours.
Especially when it’s family.
Especially when it’s your parents.
The Last Wound I Touched
I didn’t want to go there.
I couldn’t before.
The betrayal was too deep.
The grief — too overwhelming.
But then when I was ready to hold it without collapse—it surfaced.
Not politely. Not cleanly.
The rage came. The nightmares. The suffocation in my chest that I couldn’t explain for years.
No, it wasn’t pretty.
It was loud. Messy. Uncomfortable.
But you know what’s worse than feeling it?
Holding it for decades.
Holding it in your bones.
Holding it in your sleep.
Holding it in your relationships.
Holding it in your silence — while it slowly kills parts of you.
And Then… The Lightness Came
After the rage. After the loud cry. After the truth came out of my mouth, finally —
there was something else:
Peace.
A kind of peace I had never known.
Not because they changed.
Not because I got closure.
But because I returned to myself.
And the abuse in a relationship?
This part is sharp — but it’s the truth:
No, it won’t get better.
No, it wasn’t “just one time.”
Yes, they will do it again.
No, they don’t love you — they love control.
Yes, that’s hard to accept. But it’s harder to stay.
You’re not weak. You’re not naive.
You loved fully. You gave your heart.
But that love?
It’s time to give it back to yourself.
To your safety.
To your nervous system.
To the part of you that is still waiting to feel protected.
One Final Truth
You couldn’t protect yourself as a child.
But you can now.
And the first step?
Stop calling it love.