People Pleasing

It’s Not Kindness. It’s a Survival Pattern.

You think you’re being “nice.”
You’re keeping the peace.
Making sure everyone’s okay.
But underneath?
You’re abandoning yourself — over and over again.

Let’s call it what it is:
A coping mechanism.
Not a personality trait.

Where It Comes From

People pleasing is not your nature.
It’s a pattern that formed when:

• You felt unsafe saying no

• You were praised for being easygoing, quiet, accommodating

• You were taught love = approval

• You feared rejection or punishment for being honest

So you learned to survive by being what others wanted.

But Here’s the Truth:

You weren’t born to be digestible.
You weren’t born to be agreeable.
You weren’t born to be small.

How People Pleasing Shows Up

It’s not just saying yes to everything.

It’s:

• Editing your words mid-sentence

• Apologizing for existing

• Saying “it’s fine” when it’s not

• Feeling responsible for other people’s emotions

• Being liked more than being real

• Feeling guilty for resting

• Avoiding conflict at the cost of your truth

The Cost of It?

Exhaustion.
Resentment.
Lack of boundaries.
And losing touch with what you actually want.

You wake up one day and think:
“Wait… who am I without other people’s approval?”

Breaking the Pattern

You’re not selfish for saying no.
You’re not mean for having boundaries.
You’re not cold for not replying right away.

You’re allowed to:

• Disappoint people.

• Let them be uncomfortable.

• Choose you.

Their feelings are not your responsibility.
(And you’re not their emotional support human.)

Personal Note

This one hit deep.
I used to shrink in conversations just to be liked.
Say “yes” when I meant “hell no.”
I thought if I could just make everyone happy, I’d be safe.
But it never worked.

Because the real safety came when I started choosing myself.
Even if it meant being misunderstood.
Even if it meant silence from people I used to please.

I wasn’t here to play a role in their story.
I had my own to write.

And I’m finally writing it.